I was thinking about a previous post concerning thinking about tomorrow and I remembered what my past held. My friend Goodie Grimes told me once how cool she thought it was that I moved to NYC and for whatever reason when she said it, it sounded like some grand accomplishment. Yes, I quit my job with no other plan than "move to New York." No, I didn't have a job lined up. Nope. No family or friends either. I met my immediate boyfriend for the NYC online after I hit the send button on my resignation. So I was going it all alone in a city so complex it was deemed that if I couldn't make it here I might as well pack it up and go home.
I don't have a job and have only worked five months in the last three years. I'm dead broke now, but I have only been this way for a few months. I had enough savings, severance, and unemployment to get me to today. I can't wait to be employed again because everybody wants me to go on a trip with them, Joelle of course needs (well, i want to give her) more stuff, and I want to get to the point where I have a savings and can feel the floor under me again.
There were times when I cried myself to sleep twice a month. I cried on the fourteenth and I cried on the day before the last day of the month. I don't cry now. When I cried then I was working 80+ hours a week. Sometimes I would work about 20 hours, go home to sleep for three, and go back to work for another 20 hours. I was plenty younger then :-) I was making a lot of money, renting an apartment in Dayton for under $400, no car payment, very little real debt. I was supporting one other person who was in school at the time so that took a bit of the money.
Anyway...everytime I need something now...I have it. I don't know how God does it, but I know He always does. I don't have a job and I definitely think somehow, someway I'm supposed to work for myself. I have been given gift upon gift that would garner me money for myself and for others. I've depleted my 401(k) THREE TIMES, but that only means I built it THREE TIMES! One thing I know..if I did it before, I can do it again. I saved that money no matter what gov't program MADE me or HELPED me. I have had to humble myself and pray, but I've also had to humble myself and ASK. Faith without works is dead and that also means that if I have faith that God will provide I have to at least ASK for the help and God can help me, but his angels have to have my faith ASKING for their support. That was big because I've always done for myself. ALWAYS. Yes, my parents and grandparents helped, too :-) I'm just glad I get to see that what I reaped, I am now SOWING. I will never be "broke" because as long as God sits on the throne He will never leave nor forsake me...and that is why I don't have to worry about tomorrow.